How to Love

One of the most difficult and excruciating experiences in life is love..but what is love? What is it to be loved? What is it to show love? It is a lifelong process to answer these questions and that many seek without even realizing that it’s what they truly yearn for.

How we love is such a crucial part of our daily lives, yet Love itself has no definitive, finite definition.

via Wikipedia

Love – a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes that ranges from interpersonal affection (“I love my mother”) to pleasure (“I loved that meal”)….It can refer to an emotion of a strong attraction and personal attachment.

It can also be a virtue representing human kindness, compassion, and affection—”the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another”.[2] It may also describe compassionate and affectionate actions towards other humans, one’s self or animals.[3]

Non-Western traditions have also distinguished variants or symbioses of these states; words like storge, philia, eros, and agape each describe a unique “concept” of love.[4] Love has additional religious or spiritual meaning—notably in Abrahamic religions. This diversity of uses and meanings combined with the complexity of the feelings involved makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, compared to other emotional states.

Love in its various forms acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts.[5]

Love may be understood as a function to keep human beings together against menaces and to facilitate the continuation of the species.[6]

In Other words, Love is literally what you make it based on the positive feelings it invokes.

When people say we need more love it isn’t just a saying. it’s a fact. Good feelings implore more good feelings, then those good feelings implore positive actions and responses even when other’s may not be in the mood or mindset to accept them. You can start this ripple effect fairly easy.

First be around people. Love is infectious. The more people you have around the more people you can affect directly and indirectly. If you make someone smile, you may make them smile at someone else who then decides not to say or do something hurtful.

Second, watch your demeanor and your words. People’s first impression of you is 66% of what you look like( facial expressions body language, other forms of non verbal communications) and the rest is whatever comes out of your mouth and also how it comes out. Yelling have a great day at the top of your lungs probably isn’t the best way to get your point across( but it can be effective in getting people’s attention).

Thirdly, Sooooo much of love is action! Your actions will define your love more than any of the points above.  Your actions will live on in the subconscious mind of the person or people involved. They won’t remember all the details but they won’t forget that moment when they felt THAT feeling.

With all the great things about love there is one major downfall to love. It’s extremely selfish….

Love is getting that thing you need right at the moment when you need it to keep you sane. Love will hurt if you get something you need, but not in the way you want it.

example: You need $20 dollars to buy a ticket to go see your mother who has been in a bad accident. I give you $15, but ask in return that you pay me back $25. Is that really love? should love be reciprocated?

Something 100% of people have a problem with is knowing how to love unconditionally. How to love just because you want to.  Real love must be unconditionally as it’s offered and accepted. I say this because conditional love can hurt due to the fact It is forceful and rigid. It creates feelings of disdain, displeasure, and other emotions like anger, frustration, sadness, guilt, low self-esteem, and even radical points like depression and suicide. Being loved in a conditional way can do major damage because it puts people in the mindset that this is all that love is. This type of love has to be enough. Do not be complacent in your showing of love. There can never be too much love but there can be not enough. You can never have too much love, but you can abuse the love you get.

Love is a puzzle and the key is you. You must know understand how to love yourself first. If you do not know how you liked to be loved, how can you expect someone else to know? If you do not love your features, and traits, why does it matter if someone else does? You must know how to love yourself because It is the only way you can truly learn how to love.

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